18 years closer to death
By UsaydI lived in Leeds for the first 10 years of my life. I was in primary school from reception to year 4 before moving to Manchester for the last two years. The internet is a powerful tool, and last week a classmate from my primary school in Leeds found me on Facebook. Since then I have been conversing with almost 20 people who I haven’t spoken to for over eight years.
Then it hit me.
I cried last night, in fact I wept
for 18 years to day my concept
before Allah 
I begged, I cried
grant me your mercy before I die
tears hit the cold hard floor
interruption - a knock on the door
bright white light or true darkness?
angel of death leaves only a carcass.
I turned 18 years old yesterday, and the reason I am writing this is perhaps to express my take on what I feel is the most precious thing we have been given - and that is time. You see for me, ‘Happy Birthday’ is a juxtaposition. Society may well have branded birthdays as another capitalist drive to eternal pleasure but do we ever take a step back and think about what we are celebrating?
Anwar Al-Awlaki speaks about the celebration of birthdays in one of his lectures, and he makes it so clear. You see the perception in old Europe was that it’s a fight, a challenge between us and nature. Every year that passes by we have won against nature. In the old days when life was rough and there were a few months when they couldn’t plant crops - life was a struggle. I have lived for another year, I have won against the forces of nature that’s why I celebrate my birthday.
But I know that there is no fight against nature. As much as humans try and live forever - death is inevitable. We don’t know when we will die whether it be tomorrow, next year or in 10 years time. Recently I have been reminded of this by examples of people who I know or know of in the last few months - a 3 year old girl never woke up for school. A 12 year old boy collapsed and died whilst playing football. The most profound example for me is a boy who went to my school a few years ago. The reason I always recall this is because I saw him all the time, and then a year after he leaves school he just doesn’t wake up the next morning. No he wasn’t ill, no there weren’t any special circumstances.
So why do we deceive ourselves? Why are we celebrating when we know that another year of our lives has gone, our precious time lost. Every second we lose is a second we will never re-live.
Umar Ibn-Al Khattab said: “Take account of yourselves before your are brought to account.”
When speaking to my old friends in Leeds, I was shocked at how little I remember. It was almost surreal, as if all those years I had spent never really happened. The fact that I hadn’t kept in touch with a single person meant that that life there was just fading memories. Time is so precious and we don’t know how much we have left. How many of us have truly questioned the reason for our existence. Why are we here?
November 3rd, 2007 at 8:31 pm
If We grant long life to any, We cause him to be reversed in nature: Will they not then understand? [36:68]
On the subject of death, this is something I penned a few days ago:
“With every experience of death we fell sadness, anguish and loss but we mature and become wiser. However our last experience of death will only bring feelings of regret and foolishness and sighs of discontent. And a final breathe, a final grasp for that sweet nectar that is oxygen. And then nothing. And everything. And something. And an experience that is beyond words and that no man has spoken of. For the men that experience it never live to tell the tail.”
Happy Birthday Usayd, Allah
has given you another year to serve Him and His cause. Rejoice in that. And not in a battle against nature. And we will pray that He gives you another year. And another.
“Another year in the struggle, eh?”
November 3rd, 2007 at 8:45 pm
Assalamu Alaykum,
I don’t know hether to discuss the essence of time or congratulate you on your very well written article =]
into days 
into weeks 
into months 
into years - seemingly faster than ever; yet every moment is a precious component of life and every moment counts.
I remember feeling a little bit like this on my birthday a few days ago. Another year has passed; minutes move into hours
Narrated Abdullah Bin Mas`ud Allah
’s Messenger (PBUH) said:
“A man shall be asked concerning five things on the day of resurrection: concerning his life, how he spent it; concerning his youth, how he grew old; concerning his wealth, whence he acquired it, and in what way he spent it; and what was it that he did with the knowledge that he had.”
I pray you have a meaningful 18th year, May Allah
grant you happiness and make you a wiser and better person…Ameen.
Fi Amanillah =]
November 3rd, 2007 at 11:00 pm
u kno, ur hte the ONLY person apart from my mum hus ever sed this about birthdays- every year i wanted something for my birthday, shed always be like; ‘why? its jst another year closer to ur death…y wud u wana celebrate THAT?’ XD so yeah, i guess ive grown up with this concept pretty much…^^” but i dno, time is quite a precious thing n everything, but i think birthdays are a really gr8 chance to reflect on wat uve learnt in another year of ur life…and Allah
does say in the Quran, ‘peace be upon the day Jesus was born,’ …not just about Isa (AS) but also some other prophets e.g. Shu’aib (if my memory isnt failing me…) so yeah, the day ur born is prety unique and special etc…and this is a very ‘adult’ way of lukin at things …albeit a little depressing!
thought provokin all the same
w.s ^^
November 3rd, 2007 at 11:03 pm
salam sick article! very well written. a very gud reminder
November 3rd, 2007 at 11:27 pm
Thank you for your comments.
Charlie Brown, you truly are a representation of struggle and speak from experience. May Allah
grant you many years also 
Such wise words you speak for someone so young!
Fahmida, that hadith is so beautiful, the progression of stages that will never return is something so profound yet so often overlooked. It brings to mind the saying ‘you never really know what you’ve got, until its gone.’
Queenpixie, I am very much amused by your comment. I actually missed out something from this article which was to say I thank my parents for giving me the opportunity to see birthdays differently than most others. I have found that it is amazing how the rebellion of this is actually rebelling to conformity - it is almost an attempt to assimilate back into the norm of society. The first instinct is to rebel, but I do really believe that a birthday is a time of reflection and not of celebration. There is no evidence from the Prophet Muhammed
’s life indicating any celebration of birthdays, we don’t start our calendar by the Prophet’s birth. I don’t necessarily agree that your interpretation of the Quranic ayah is accurate in justification either, if you think logically the argument in the article about the fighting against nature makes perfect sense.
Zeeshan, JazakAllah
November 3rd, 2007 at 11:39 pm
An old teacher once told me that more people die young than they die old. So your sentiment is well founded. But you’re the lucky one, why? Cause you recognise the gift you have while you have it and not once its left you.
Another old teacher I heard say “Use the Force”. He would say that I always ‘Looked to the Future and not on the Present’, bah! I’m much better than he is, the old fool. lol
Jamil
November 4th, 2007 at 12:46 am
Heh, i can’t believe it’s been 10 years since we saw each other.
Good question, why are we here? Maybe to have fun and party?
November 4th, 2007 at 12:55 am
I guess for every 5 good comments there’s a bad one afterwards!
November 4th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
usayd bruv we share the same bday…u just made me realise wt am actually doin…seriously ur ryt..thanx man…everytime i speak 2u im inspired…it makes me realise wt am missing…
Great article…….
November 5th, 2007 at 1:35 am
I tend to agree with this beautiful article, well written. However Usayd, dont dismiss QueenPixie’s comments so easily. Its better to take a holistic approach - enjoyment is also part of worship.
I’m now 19, a year since 18 has flown past, so fast, and yep by now you do (someone like yourself) think about the ageing, declining nature of time. You should take a time to reflect and ponder but also recognise that its also a time of thanks and gratitude to your friends, families and also to the Being that made it all possible. Birthdays are a great time to bring people closer and recognise each others worth - celebrating together. We show gratitude to Allah
by celebrating Eid, you can also show gratitude to Allah 
by celebrating each others special days.
Happy Birthday bro, stay strong and remember relaxation and enjoyment is also part of our great faith. Here is something I read in my recent studies at uni: - enjoy
“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms;
Then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin’d,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav’d, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”
(sans: without)
Said by Jaques (As you like it, Act II, Scene VII, lines 139-166), William Shakespeare
November 6th, 2007 at 10:49 am
:neutral:makes alot of sense its deep and it brings you bac to reality
November 8th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
good one.
liked this one:
“Society may well have branded birthdays as another capitalist drive to eternal pleasure but do we ever take a step back and think about what we are celebrating?”
November 23rd, 2007 at 3:13 pm
May Allah
swt bless you and hold u on the right way inshAllah.. Ameen
November 23rd, 2007 at 4:32 pm
mashaAllaah good article
January 7th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
mashallah very good article. made me realise and appreciate the value of time on my 16th birthday today. keep up the good work.