venture
Venture outside in the early morning of winter months
The sky is clear and blue, no clouds blocking the sun
Birds sing on bare trees which sway in submission
inviting all to come out and indulge in sweet creation
Ready now I venture beyond the warmth of home
looking to the future I step into the present alone
horrified, for deception and lies are apparent now
As body hit by sharp blast from reality – its cold
so cold, hands exposed to blistering winds of nature
wrapped up the cold burns through layer by layer
Heart is solid now. Frozen over by ice overlooked
foolish to pass judgement without reading the book
expression so grim can’t instil happiness with sorrow
smiles returned with glares save the fake and hollow
We have to step outside to face the reality of life
I will stand to witness the true struggle and strife
stop living in the fantasy that is so easy to fall for
the truth is harsh and hits deep, scars you inside
Feel the heart melt, will always ask for a day more
Embark on the venture, you won’t return to this life.
2 Responses to “ venture ”
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good stuff. try to vary the cadence and rhyme – if you gotta rhyme it, it’s not just at the end of every line. think of rap: “with freedom of MIND we can see what we can FIND/ if you can spot em, pop-pop-pop the po-NINE/ this is only a RHYME so now don’t get SCARED/ listen to the message in the WORD, don’t let your sight get BLURRED you HEARD these righteous WORDS…” etc. complex schemes.
the image at the start was very powerful, but weakened (in my view) from the line “We have to step outside…” onwards. it’s not a khutbah. concentrate on the image to convey meaning.
jokes re: the jacked dead prez line.
haha i know that dead prez line was so relevant that I had to stick it in
You’re right, that often happens when you sway from the original objective.
Thanks for the advice I’ll take it on board…it’s really just for myself a nice release. you should try it sometime.