Comments on: venture http://www.usayd.com/2007/12/13/venture/ Design and development, ranging from dynamic websites to intricate print media. Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:30:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Usayd http://www.usayd.com/2007/12/13/venture/comment-page-1/#comment-830 Usayd Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:47:19 +0000 http://usayd.com/new/?p=610#comment-830 haha i know that dead prez line was so relevant that I had to stick it in You're right, that often happens when you sway from the original objective. Thanks for the advice I'll take it on board...it's really just for myself a nice release. you should try it sometime. haha i know that dead prez line was so relevant that I had to stick it in

You’re right, that often happens when you sway from the original objective.

Thanks for the advice I’ll take it on board…it’s really just for myself a nice release. you should try it sometime.

]]> By: Musab http://www.usayd.com/2007/12/13/venture/comment-page-1/#comment-831 Musab Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:06:48 +0000 http://usayd.com/new/?p=610#comment-831 good stuff. try to vary the cadence and rhyme - if you gotta rhyme it, it's not just at the end of every line. think of rap: "with freedom of MIND we can see what we can FIND/ if you can spot em, pop-pop-pop the po-NINE/ this is only a RHYME so now don't get SCARED/ listen to the message in the WORD, don't let your sight get BLURRED you HEARD these righteous WORDS..." etc. complex schemes. the image at the start was very powerful, but weakened (in my view) from the line "We have to step outside..." onwards. it's not a khutbah. concentrate on the image to convey meaning. jokes re: the jacked dead prez line. good stuff. try to vary the cadence and rhyme – if you gotta rhyme it, it’s not just at the end of every line. think of rap: “with freedom of MIND we can see what we can FIND/ if you can spot em, pop-pop-pop the po-NINE/ this is only a RHYME so now don’t get SCARED/ listen to the message in the WORD, don’t let your sight get BLURRED you HEARD these righteous WORDS…” etc. complex schemes.

the image at the start was very powerful, but weakened (in my view) from the line “We have to step outside…” onwards. it’s not a khutbah. concentrate on the image to convey meaning.

jokes re: the jacked dead prez line.

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