I am blessed with the clothes on my back Food in my stomach and a family who care Roof over my head and money to snack Excellent company so honest and fair Gadgets, toys and luxuries of modernity To be ungrateful? It perplexes me. Absurdity. If I don’t recognise just how lucky I am How do I expect to remain as I am Why should He continue to grant favours When all I do is read through the papers Motions go by but actions remain the same Somehow have the audacity to complain I will be tested, that’s for sure The results are where I hit the floor.

There are black spots on my heart Every day we sin, where do I start? When I slip, the blackness smothers Slowly losing my chances to recover My heart is black. Too late to turn back. Repeat the crime always on the attack Compassion and mercy – distant now I remember asking that question, how? Avoid the situations to prevent hurt Never think to ask what is this worth. Soon it will take my loved ones away Like an oil spill – hazard on the way.

They say he might not make it, it’s critical And if he does, his life…will be difficult You ask me why I write these words of pain When I told you its real – to me no gain The darkness creeps so unexpected and fast Fighting for your life without time to gasp I’m not reminding anyone but myself How can I laugh when the grief is felt So tears burden the heart as deeds are dealt In this life there are only two types of wealth Working hard for nothing but ash on the scales The wind will blow away the end to this tale.

Locked away in your soul are thoughts untold Kept secret and hidden yet journeys unfold Emotionless face but the mind is easily read Lines of bitter writing litter the roads ahead I pushed you away without even knowing as foolish pride got in the way of showing Ashamed of reality but it is true I detest what I became in treatment of you The past is behind us yet it doesn’t self erase Take a step forward in attempts to be brave These words are nothing but lines on a page Like a raging fire, your heart is ablaze.

Why do I feel the need to cry Tears roll down my face and dry Have you ever forced yourself to Blinding thoughts travel through Trivia and loose talk so distant now Looking at the universe, wondering how I don’t want to be a repetition of the past I know my enthusiasm will not last And how do I remain steadfast, when life Tests in ways that appear finite So many questions with no answers Spread so fast, an unstoppable cancer Maybe that’s why people want to quit Simple really – to avoid being hit.

Why do you never write anything positive? Perhaps a smile emerges from your lips. Here you go, a joyful poem for you Happy days ahead and the sky is blue People are singing and dancing along Joining together, in rhyme and song No worries no problems, its really great I love this feeling of being awake So I continue my life without a care To open my eyes I wouldn’t even dare Watch the path don’t trip and stumble For facing reality makes dreams crumble. Of reality you speak so tragically? Mankind is happy and in total equality, And those that aren’t, we’re saving them Liberating the lands...

I take a deep sigh and then I write these words Call me depressing but this life hurts A fool is only what I can claim to be as time, Time does but claim me. Swallowed up in what some consider a game, Play it I guess, reality is nowhere in the name. The difference is I will make mistakes And not be able to turn back and recreate I look at my friends and see them in pain, Guilty indeed as the scars remain Forgive me, please, I beg you now. Then I turn to myself and wonder how.

If there’s one thing in life that I have learned Put your hand to the fire and it will be burned As a child you learn from your mistakes It appears I’m willing to fund my fate A gaping void has opened in my life Ungrateful? Do His blessings not suffice? So then why do I kneel instead of prostrate The words uttered with a bitter taste. Time has passed and things have changed The gap will be filled by bonds of pain I’m going to fight and hold onto the gem To let go would be fuelling my own end I am no longer scared of the battles ahead, I look forward to the dream instead.